In what may be Africa’s strangest assassination attempt since someone threw a shoe at a president, a Zambian court has sentenced two men to two years in prison for attempting to kill President Hakainde Hichilema using witchcraft. Yes, witchcraft. And yes, their star weapon was a chameleon.
The convicted men — Leonard Phiri from Zambia and Jasten Mabulesse Candunde from Mozambique — were arrested in December last year carrying charms that included the live lizard. Prosecutors said the two, allegedly hired by a fugitive ex-MP, planned to prick the chameleon’s tail in a ritual that, according to them, would guarantee the President’s demise within five days.
Magistrate Fine Mayambu was unimpressed.
“It is my considered view that the convicts were not only the enemy of the head of state but were also enemies of all Zambians,” he ruled, firmly reminding everyone that reptile-assisted sorcery is, in fact, illegal.
The duo had insisted they were simply traditional healers. Their lawyer, Agrippa Malando, begged the court to impose a fine instead of a prison sentence, arguing that they were first-time offenders. But the magistrate was adamant: “The question is not whether the accused are wizards or actually possess supernatural powers. It is whether they represented themselves as such — and the evidence clearly shows they did.”
In short, Zambia’s judiciary doesn’t care if you’re Hogwarts material or just playing dress-up; if you sell yourself as a wizard, you’re going to prison.
The Witchcraft Act itself dates back to 1914, a colonial relic that has mostly gathered dust except when mobs accuse elderly women of casting deadly spells. Rarely do trials feature sitting presidents and live chameleons as exhibits.
For President Hichilema, who has previously said he doesn’t believe in witchcraft, the whole affair must be bewildering. After all, how does one comment on a plot that involves lizards and tail-pricking rituals? He has wisely stayed silent, perhaps realizing there’s no way to respond without it sounding like a stand-up routine.
Meanwhile, Zambia is still grappling with another “witchcraft-adjacent” issue: the protracted dispute over where to bury former President Edgar Lungu, whose body remains in a South African morgue months after his death. Rumors swirl of occult motives behind the government’s insistence that he be buried in Zambia, though officials have dismissed such claims as nonsense.
Back in court, Phiri and Candunde will serve their concurrent sentences of two years — plenty of time to reflect on the risks of mixing reptiles with politics. One wonders whether, in the prison yard, they’ll be introducing themselves as healers, sorcerers, or just two guys with a very bad business idea.
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